Early Christmas Present

I received an early Christmas gift from Dr. Prystas' office this morning when they called to tell me that my CA-125 levels have dropped from 1191 to 412. This time around, before they started dropping, it was as high as over 2000--so this is really terrific news! I'm only going every other week for chemo now, & they are only doing the blood test once a month. It's always wonderful to get such good news when the side effects from the chemo are really kicking in & I'm starting to feel crummy. I was worried that not being able to do 3 treatments a month with this medication wasn't going to work very well, but am pleased that they have found a pretty good dosage & schedule. Mom is still coming up each week I do chemo (she's busy cleaning bathrooms & dusting as I write!), & I've been having different friends take me down for my treatments once a month. It has been such a pleasure to share this experience with these good friends.

Thanksgiving was marvelous! My entire family spent it at my Mom & Dad's this year, & it was just a great day! I was grateful to have the week off of chemo & be able to really enjoy the experience. Kali & Jarett were both home during the holiday & had friends over several times. It was just a wonderful weekend! As we sat around the table at Mom & Dad's & shared what we were most thankful for on Thanksgiving, I said that although I'm not quite sure I can say that I'm thankful for cancer (that's pushing it a bit!), I am so very grateful for the blessing cancer has given me of drawing closer to my Heavenly Father & Savior, Jesus Christ. I am also thankful for the blessing of being so loved & having my love also grow deeper for my family, relatives, friends, ward members, people in this beautiful valley, doctors & even strangers I've met through this experience. These past 14 months have given me such a profound appreciation for the power of love, compassion & charity in our lives. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all experience this each & every day of our lives? Thank you again for your love, prayers & faith--it means everything to me. Love always, Kim

Just plugging along

It's been awhile since I last wrote, but I'm just plugging along. I went in for chemo on Oct 24th, but my white blood counts were too low & they weren't able to do it--so I ended up having that week off. My chest cavity has stayed pretty clear & I've been able to continue breathing easily--yea! I went in this last Monday, & my blood counts were good so I was able to go ahead with the chemo treatment. Apparently the chemo, Gemzar, is pretty hard on the bone marrow, so Dr. Prystas is "tweaking" the dosage so that I will be able to continue with the 2 weeks on/1 off schedule. The side effects this week haven't been as bad as they were the first three times. It's Friday, & other than extreme fatigue hitting me periodically throughout the day, I'm doing good. Mom was with me for most of the week--taking care of loads of laundry, cleaning the house & running boys to and fro. We've also had some wonderful meals brought in, & with having my lungs working better, it's easier to eat--I'm sure I'll be putting on weight again with all this good food! Here are some pictures we took when I went to my chemo appointment Monday. I want everyone to see these wonderful ladies who take such great care of me.

Dr. Prystas, Me & Kathy(the most fabulous nurse!)

Jeri, Val & Amy (what fun gals--always smiling & laughing)

Enjoying my "chemo cocktail" in the party room

It's not always a fun process, but I am so incredibly grateful for these wonderful ladies in my life. They are so compassionate and show their love for me and my family in so many ways.

Life is pretty good right now. I started my 2nd "round" of chemo last Monday, & am feeling almost normal this morning. This time around, a "round" of chemo consists of 2 treatments spaced 7 days apart, & then a week off--so it's 3 weeks total. After my treatment on Monday, they sent me over to LDS Hospital to have my right chest cavity drained again--2.5 liters this time! I still have a cough, but the fluids seem to not be building up so far--I am able to still breathe easily & even walked around my block yesterday (albeit slowly!) The third & fourth day after the treatments seem to be the worst. I am just really headachy, nauseaous & my torso, abdomen, kidneys, etc. just hurt. When that happens, I just tell myself that the chemo must be working & killing all those nasty cancer cells. Other than that, I'm just incredibly tired--much more tired than I remember being last year. I end up falling asleep often during the day & take a few cat naps, which is totally unusual for me! They did my CA-125 test this last Monday, & although the numbers didn't go down (in fact, they went up a bit) they didn't go up as much as they had in the two weeks previous to my starting chemo. Dr. Prystas is hoping that the first round of chemo has just stabilized things, & that we'll see the numbers start to go down in the coming weeks. If they don't begin going down, she may consider changing the chemo drug that I'm receiving.

I am--once again--amazed at the love & support of such good people. This has been such a long year, & I am sure that everyone must be tired of thinking of me, praying for me, & serving me & my family. I know that I have days where I'm sooo sick of myself--of being sick, & feeling like I'm the center of attention. There are times when I wish so much that I could just go back to being the "old" me. But, that's not possible--our entire purpose in being here is to learn, grow & progress--to change & develop a "new" heart that is more like our Heavenly Father & Savior's. I am grateful for the opportunities I've had this past year to grow & stretch spiritually. I just hope that I am becoming what They see I can become, & that I can in some way serve others as I have been so lovingly served by you.

Here are some of the pictures from a couple of weeks ago. Camille Garrison did the photos--I think she's awesome!! She was wonderful to work with, & I'm glad they've turned out so well. Love always, Kim

Feeling Like I've Turned a Corner

Last week was a pretty tough one, but I feel like I've turned the corner & things are looking better. I am so thankful...once again...for the many prayers being offered on my behalf. I went in, still fevering, for my 2nd chemo treatment this Tuesday. My white & red blood counts were okay, so Dr. Prystas gave me the option of going ahead with the treatment or waiting until I felt better. I decided to go ahead--I couldn't imagine feeling much worse than I had for the past 5 days! She wasn't sure why I was fevering--there wasn't any sign of infection--& it would just come & go. After my chemo tx, they sent me over to LDS Hospital to have them drain my right chest cavity so I could breathe. They were able to drain 2 liters of fluid from it. There probably was more, but they don't like taking more than that because it can kind of "rebound" on you if you take too much. It's amazing how much better I felt after having it removed! Mom has been here with me throughout the week, & I've pretty much stayed in my jammies until today. My breathing has become a little more difficult--I think the fluid is beginning to build up again--but it's not gotten too bad. It seems to be taking a little bit longer for these drugs to begin working on it.
Two blessings that I'm most thankful for are the opportunity to do our family pictures, & the blessing of being able to attend General Conference for the first time in my life on Sunday afternoon. When I was so sick, I just prayed that at least I would be able to participate in those two activities with my family. My prayers were answered abundantly! I was even able to attend Braedon's football game Saturday before I started feeling lousy again. When I get the pictures back, I'll have to post one...my dear friend (& hairdresser), Heather Holbrook, showed up at my house Saturday morning & did my hair & make-up. I wish I'd taken a "before" picture so you could see the miracle she performed on me that morning. My brother, Paul, told me that morning that I have the best friends...I totally agree! How could one person have such great family & friends? I am especially thankful for my best friend, the Savior, who is always there during my darkest hours--I know that I am never alone and that I matter to Him. Love always, Kim

Faith and Prayers

Today I have been asked by Kim to update her blog.  Since her chemo treatment last Tuesday, she has been struggling a bit with the side affects - they were not able to use the same drugs that were used during her first series of treatments because they began to cause an allergic reaction.  So heading into her first treatment this week - she was not sure what to expect.  Wednesday she was able to be up a bit in between resting and was even able to get a walk in around the block of her subdivision.  Then Thursday was not a good day - she was continuing to feel week, head achey with no energy.  Saturday their family was able to get together for an extended family picture - which was something that they had been planning for months.   Then by Saturday afternoon she was experiencing fever, chills, and aching all over.  In contacting Dr. Prystas, she thought that Kim had either a bacterial or viral infection and prescribed a strong antibiotic for her.  This morning Kim was feeling a little better!

As Kim's family and friends she has requested our faith and prayers in her behalf.  She is scheduled for another chemo treatment this coming Tuesday and really wants to get some strength back going into that second treatment.  We are asking that each of us combine our faith and prayers to match Kim's great faith and please keep her in your thoughts and prayers this week as we prepare to fast on Sunday.  We have definitely been blessed to see miracles in her life this past year - and we know there are more to come for her.

 For those of us who have been able to listen to Conference this weekend - we have definitely been reminded of how each of us are loved and known by our Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ.  How blessed we are to have a Prophet - President Monson - that reminded us today in his beautiful talk of the Savior's words - "Fear thou not; for I am with thee; be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."

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Well....at least it's not "rip-roaring" cancer

The bad news is...the cancer is back. The good news is it's not "rip-roaring" cancer according to Dr. Prystas. I had my CA-125 blood test done last week in preparation for a 4-month follow-up with the surgeon. I'd been having some stomach aches & shortness of breath for the couple of weeks leading up to this appointment, but I was hoping that it was just the anxiety leading up to the appointment. Unfortunately, Dr. Dodson told us that my numbers had gone fromo 67 to over 1300--obviously something was going on. I had a CT scan two days ago that showed no tumors--yea!--that means no surgery. All my vital organs appear to be normal, but I do have fluid in my chest cavity & abdomen again (darn!) and there are several enlarged lymph nodes in my abdomen & pelvis. Soooo...according to Dr. Prystas, there are definitely signs of cancer, but it's not "rip-roaring" cancer. It sounds like I'll be doing another few rounds of chemo again. I go see Dr. Prystas next Tuesday to hear what the game plan will be. Because it's only been 6 months since my last chemo treatment, they can't use the same drugs. She'll have to figure out what new medications to use, & she's going to try again to have my insurance company pay for a new drug that hasn't been FDA approved for ovarian cancer, but is showing some promise. It's been a little rough this past week--I've shed a few tears--but it's going to be all right. I've known this was extremely likely to happen, I was just hoping it wouldn't be quite so soon.
Last night, our Stake Relief Society held a special meeting & had Sister Virginia Pearce speak to us. I think she was there just for me--it was wonderful! She spoke about living "abundantly" & that is what my goal is--to live my life abundantly as long as I can. When we were heading down to S.L. to the Dr.'s last week, Kali & I were texting about how it had been a year to the day since my diagnosis. I wrote something about it being a wild year, and Kali responded: "Yeah, it's been quite a year...but Mom, it's been a YEAR!" That put everything into perspective for me. A year ago I could never imagine still being here to see & experience another beautiful fall day. We have had so many wonderful experiences this past year as a family--especially these past 6 months. I have been blessed so abundantly, & have felt the love of the Lord in my life more this past year than at any other time. I am once again feeling the prayers of many of you who have known of my circumstances this past week, & I am grateful! Love always, Kim

Summer Update

A few people have reminded me that I haven't updated since my last visit with the oncologist--I'm sorry--I've been busy enjoying my summer & I keep forgetting to sit down & write! Things are going really well right now. I'm feeling well physically & almost have the same level of energy I did a year ago. Most of the time I feel normal physically, then I'll have a day where I get super tired, & I can't figure out why, until I remember, "Duh, you've had two major surgeries & 8 rounds of chemo--you should be tired!" About a week before I went to see Dr. Prystas I began to have stomachaches & weird pains all over in my abdomen. I'm realizing that when you've been diagnosed with cancer, you're entire mindset experiences a big shift. Instead of logically thinking, "Oh, my stomach hurts--I shouldn't have eaten those 3 pieces of Costco chocolate cake today!" (I know--so bad!), you begin to think that the cancer is back & then the worries all kick in. I ran into a friend, who's also done chemo, a few days into this crazy thinking & she told me that the same thing would happen to her every time she had to go into see the oncologist. Then, when she'd get the report that everything was fine, the symptoms would disappear until her next appointment. Listening to her helped ease my mind for those few days until I could get the results back from my tests--what a tender mercy it was to run into her!
Anyway, my CA-125 levels came back and were 67--yeaaa! That is the lowest it's gone down since I was diagnosed. Dr. Prystas did another very thorough exam & said that so far things are looking good. My stomachaches have pretty much disappeared, but I still have to be somewhat careful about what I eat. I know that 3 pieces of chocolate cake in a day isn't the best diet (& really--it's not normally that bad! It had been a stressful week & I was eating for comfort). The sad news I have to report is that my sweet dog, Maggie, passed away while we were at a family reunion in Bear Lake. The vet thinks it was an auto-immune disorder that hit her pretty quickly & she was only sick for less than 48 hours--she doesn't think Maggie suffered much. I have felt so badly about her death. She was kind of a handful for everyone else in the family, but she absolutely loved me & I loved her in return. She spent most of this winter on her pillow, keeping me company while I was going through chemo. She was one of my angels, & I am really missing her--it's hard to go walking & work outside without her right next to me.
I get two more months "off" from the Dr.'s (unless something else crops up) & will go to see Dr. Dodson, the gynecological surgeon, in mid-September. Unfortunately, I've had to visit the hospital the last couple of days because my younger brother, Matt, was in a mountain biking accident in Cedar City on Saturday. He's going to be okay, but had surgery this morning to repair a broken hip & also has a torn ligament in his shoulder & a fracture in his wrist. He's going to be hurting for a while. :-( With four members of my immediate family having spent some time in the new IMC in Murray since it opened, I'm thinking of asking them to give us a family discount or at least name a wing of the hospital for us! Seriously, though, I am once again grateful for the blessings of good medical care, wonderful family & friends, & the knowledge that Heavenly Father & our Savior are always mindful of our needs & are right there to bless & comfort us. Thank you for your continued prayers & kind thoughts. Love always, Kim