Christmas Miracles

I just got a call from Dr. Prystas herself his morning with the good news that my CA-125 levels have gone from 641 to 282 after my third chemo treatment. The blood levels of the tumor marker are now less than one-tenth what they were when I began treatment. I am completely overwhelmed with love and gratitude for my loving Heavenly Father and Savior who are continually mindful of me and my family, and are blessing us and granting the deepest desires of our hearts. As I look forward to celebrating the birth of our Savior this week, I am so thankful to our Father in Heaven for the gift of His Son. My heart is full of gratitude to my Savior for His life, His obedience to the Father, and His perfect example for me. I am so grateful for His atonement. These past 3 months I have come to know on a little deeper level just a portion of what He suffered for me in the garden of Gesthemane and on the cross. How thankful I am that I have not had to do this alone--He has been with me always! How I wish that I could speak with the tongue of angels, and fully express my love and testimony for Him. I am also so very grateful for the faith and prayers of my family and friends. I know that He hears and answers prayers--we have been the witnesses of His miracles. Merry Christmas and all my love to you at this beautiful season!--Kim

Mid-December Update

I wish everyone could stop by my home and see the beautiful quilt up close--I'm grateful to Patti for posting the last message, but the picture just doesn't do it justice! Thank you, thank you to all you wonderful friends who took time out of your very busy schedules and made the quilt squares--every one of them is precious to me. I am also so thankful to Kelli, Patti, Michelle, Janae & Michelle for putting it all together. I was completely overwhelmed (actually I sobbed all day--it gave me a headache!) when it was presented to me. Love & hugs to each of you wonderful ladies!
Things are going well this week. I'm getting geared up to go in for my 4th chemo treatment on Friday. I've had quite a few people ask me what the chemo is like and how it affects me, so I'll try to explain how it's been for me the last 3 treatments. The side effects each time have been slightly different, with this last one being not quite as severe as the first two. For the first day and a half I just feel really "weird" in my brain & slightly nauseaus--no other way I can explain it--it's just weird! The nausea meds they give me in the IV seem to last for about 36 hours and then it really hits. At that point, I start taking some oral meds for it, but the nausea goes on and off for about 7-8 days. On the 2nd day, Shalin Bailey comes over and gives me a shot called "Neulasta". It stimulates my bone marrow to produce white & red blood cells to help protect me against infections. The shot doesn't hurt at all (Shalin's soooo good!), but for the next 2-3 days my bones ache. I quite frequently get migraines somewhere along the way with all this, but lucked out and didn't get any with my last treatment. Then usually around day 5 I begin to get some really nice stomach cramping & diarrhea (I debated about writing that--it's not very ladylike, but it's the gosh honest truth!) that last a couple of days and makes the nausea worse. All together it seems to be taking me about 7-8 days to start to feel halfway normal. After that, I start feeling better, but just get really tired during the day--by about 5:30pm I've pretty much had it.
Here's how we're coping with everything: Mom stays with us the week after I do chemo, and then I'm on my own for the next 2 weeks, and I try to do things as normally as possible. My cousin, Karen, has faithfully come each Monday to help do laundry, change bedding and generally tidy up the house after the weekend hurricane hits with the kids home, and run errands either for or with me. On Thursdays my friend, Sue, usually comes to help clean house, take me to run errands, & sometimes we get to sit around and watch British comedies and laugh. Each week Heidi is running errands for me, coming to give me foot massages, bringing healthy food to eat, mopping floors and doing whatever else needs to be done. And then, of course, the Relief Society and friends are bringing delicious meals in three times a week for us. On the weeks my Mom isn't here, I still try and do alot of my housework myself, not because I feel I have to, but because I actually like doing it (I know--weird!) and it helps me feel as if I'm somewhat normal and have some control over my life. Sometimes I feel funny when someone has brought a meal in the night before to us, and then I run into them the next day down at Costco. I'm sure it's my imagination, but I think they may be wondering why they brought dinner in when I'm feeling well enough to be out shopping. I am soooo thankful for all the help I'm receiving--it's because of my family & friends helping me with housework and dinners that I am able to have the strength and energy left to spend time with my husband & children and recover from the effects of my surgery & chemo. The help I'm receiving also allows me to spend time each day reading the scriptures, Conference talks and other good books that are nourishing me spiritually and helping me to cope with all that is happening.
My heart is overflowing with gratitude each and every day for all the wonderful disciples of Christ who are helping to carry my burdens "that they may be light". They truly are lighter because of your service, faith and prayers--thank you. Love always, Kim

Labor of Love

On Sunday we were able to present this quilt to Kim as a "Labor of Love" from her friends and neighbors in the Middlefork area.  The idea came about a few months ago as there were so many who wanted to help and we decided this would be a way that we could show our love and support for Kim during this time.  Material was chosen and squares were given out for the ladies to pick a thought or design that they thought would brighten Kim's day or make a connection of something that they shared in common with Kim.  We think the best part was that it was a complete surprise to Kim - and most of all she loves it. 

We want to especially thank:

Kelli Child for organizing, choosing the material and piecing the quilt

Michelle Bassett for making speciality blocks, and piecing the quilt 

JaNae Tanner for her experise in quilting the quilt

Michelle Tawzer for binding the quilt, and

Thanks again to ALL the women that made this come together so beautifully - it will bring

many hours of joy and love to Kim and her family!

Update from Fern

Hallelujah...Dr. Prystas' office this afternoon and gave Kim the report on the CA125. We are soooo excited. It went from 1806 to 641 after the SECOND chemo treatment. Kim was hoping for at least 1/2 which would take it to 950 and hearing it went down 2/3 was so exciting. It's been an emotional afternoon. We know that your prayers are working in her behalf. Blessings have been poured in abundance. Thanks from me to all of you. I love you all. Fern

November 29

I just got back a couple of hours ago from my 3rd chemo treatment and I'm not feeling quite as nauseous & "weird-brained" as I usually do immediately afterwards. Mom came yesterday before the roads got too bad with the snowstorm, and we headed down to S.L. this morning early. I woke up Sunday morning with a bit of a head cold, and was concerned about whether they were going to be able to actually do the chemo today, but the nurse, Kathy, said that by the time my white blood counts were real low, I'd probably be over my cold--so we went ahead and did it. I was also a little worried because I've had alot of abdominal pain and tenderness near the incision site since last Tuesday. Dr. Prystas did a thorough exam, and feels that I might have an infection going on in the tissue around the incision site and she's given me some antibiotics to try and clear it up. If I'm still having problems by Thursday, then we'll go in an have an ultrasound to figure out what's wrong--I think the antibiotics are going to take care of it.
Before today, I had a pretty good week and a half--the Christmas decorations are up (thanks to Vern and the kids) and most of my shopping is done (thanks to amazon.com), so we are on our way to being able to enjoy the next month (except for the two weeks I'll be doing chemo!) We started playing the Christmas CD's and Jarett informed us that he's sick of Christmas music already because he's been practicing the last few weeks for Weber High's production of "White Christmas", so we have to listen to it on the sly when he's not in the room or at home. We ate Thanksgiving dinner at Vern's cousin's house and then spent Saturday afternoon with my family decorating gingerbread houses and celebrating my Dad's 71st birthday. If my stomach hadn't been so tender it would have been a perfect week.
Dinner was just brought in again tonight, and we are so grateful for the meals we have received. Even when I've got strength to get up and about, I often don't have the appetite to eat, so it's difficult for me to try and make something to feed my family. Thank you, thank you to all who have brought in meals--we have been nourished both physically and spiritually by your kind service. In closing, I ran across this scripture that I feel really applies to me right now: "Whosever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions..." (Alma 36:3) We are doing our best to trust in God, and know that we are definitely being supported and sustained at this time by Him through all of you. Love always, Kim

Much to be Thankful For

Here's the update for the last week--I began to get my appetite back last Thursday, and have been working on "stocking up" calorie-wise for the next round of chemo on the 29th. As Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, I am very grateful that I'll be able to eat without feeling sick. I was also able to go see the new Harry Potter movie with the kids, Nana and some cousins--my first movie theatre experience in over 3 months-yahoo! I've also been able to do about 3 hours of Christmas shopping in the stores, but it's pretty exhausting so I think the rest of it will be done online. Kali comes home on Wednesday and we are going to spend the rest of the week getting the house decorated for Christmas. It will be good to have all the kids home together for a few days--I'm looking forward to it.

I've had a couple of people this last week ask me what the Dr.'s prognosis is for my treatment and I wasn't exactly sure what to say. I figured some others may be wondering, so here's what I'll tell you--none of the Dr.'s I've seen have really given me a prognosis. Cancer and cancer treatment is difficult to predict because there are so many variables. I was told by two of the Dr.'s that even though they have to "stage" the various cancers, they really hate doing it because the "stage" a particular cancer is at isn't really a predictor for how well that patient will ultimately do. There are Stage 3 and 4 ovarian cancer patients that respond very well to treatment, and then there are Stage 1 and 2 patients who don't respond well at all. Soooo...if you want to know, I have every hope that my body will respond well and that I will be here for many years to come. I'm not exactly sure what happens after I finish chemo--there may be some radiation treatment or not--I think it very likely that I'll have a mastectomy in the future, but I don't know when. It's a possibility that even after chemo the cancer may return and there may be a need for further surgery and/or chemo (I'll try not to get too attached to my hair when it comes in!) There is alot about this all that I don't know about. And for those of you who know me well, you know that I don't do very well flying by the seat of my pants--I'm a girl who usually has a plan. Not knowing what the plan is right now can kind of drive me crazy, but I am learning to trust in our Heavenly Father's plan of happiness and salvation. I am especially thankful at this season to know that His plan for us exists, and that we are His children and He loves us. I am grateful for my Savior and His Atonement. He, too, knows and understands me perfectly and has been with me every step of the way. I am so very grateful for my immediate family and extended family, and to know that we are not sent here on earth to work through everything alone--my family is everything to me, and I am thankful for the blessings the gospel provides that enable us to be together in the eternities. I thank you all for your love, prayers and for following the example of the Savior in providing such meaningful service to me and my family. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and know that I am especially thankful for you this year!--Love always, Kim

November 16

This is my first real day completely on my own--it's 11 am, I'm home alone, and I'm still in my jammies. I'm making a new rule for myself--only 1 week in jammies and then I have to put some real clothes on! The second chemo tx went pretty well--some of the side effects were the same as last time, but I think it was definitely easier to go in with more strength and health. Today I'm feeling a little more tired, but half-way normal. Mom is home for the next 2 weeks and will just be coming up to help as I need her. I've spent some time paying medical bills this last month and feel so grateful for the blessing of good medical insurance. I've been wondering how people without insurance handle all this--do they have to forgo needed treatments and medications? It makes me feel sad to think about it.
Dr. Prystas' office called yesterday to give me the good news that my CA-125 levels (CA-125 is a protein that is a type of tumor marker for cancer, especially ovarian cancer) dropped from 3255 to 1806 after my first chemo treatment. Each time I go in for chemo, they draw blood and check several things, this CA-125 being one of them. They will be monitoring this throughout my chemo treatments and afterwards. The nurses were really excited about the results of this test, as they show that the first chemo treatment was very effective in reducing the cancer cells. I felt so much better the third week after treatment, but it's really nice to see that the test results also show this improvement.
We have so been enjoying the lovely meals that are being brought in each week, but more than anything I enjoy the visits of such dear people--thank you, thank you for continuing to keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I could not do this without the continual love and support I am receiving from you and our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ. I am feeling especially grateful for Vern this week--he carries alot of heavy burdens and seems to do so effortlessly. He is doing such a good job at keeping things "as normal as possible" for the kids and myself--how blessed I was to meet and fall in love with him 25 years ago!--Love always, Kim