Numbers are Still Coming Down

Disneyland 2012

I'm on the tail-end of a chemo treatment today. I had it on Monday, the 23rd & am just today feeling almost normal. I was able to go out to dinner & a movie last night with Sue, but was still feeling funky & had a bad stomachache after dinner. I need to learn to take it easy--when food finally starts really sounding good I have a tendency to go crazy & eat too much, & my stomach just isn't able to handle it all! I was so pleased to learn this week that my numbers had dropped this last month from 266 to 161. I have to say that I was very surprised. I really felt that they were going to stay pretty much the same, or go up. It seems that the farther along I go with the chemo treatments, the more weird "symptoms" I feel in my abdomen--so it kind of messes with my mind. I've noticed that I'm much more tired this time around than with the chemo I was doing last year, & I've been alot more emotional these past few weeks. So many people tell me that I'm handling things so well, but there are some days that are incredibly difficult emotionally, & I do throw myself a "pity party" every now & again. I am so very grateful that my Mom is with me the weeks I do chemo. I am in awe at the number of people I hear about who are doing chemo & still going to work at their jobs! Mom does so much to help me with the kids, the house, laundry & meals--but just having her with me during the day--so I'm not alone--is the greatest blessing.

We had a fun trip to Disneyland 2 weeks ago--the weather was great & there were 15 members of the Cloward family who joined with us. We'd rented a house all together & the kids just had a marvelous time with each other! How grateful I am to have such great family & to be so close to them--we truly love & enjoy each other.

Thank you, thank you to all who continue to keep me in your thoughts & prayers. I am continually bowled over by the kindness of so many of you--the sweet notes, texts, calls, words of comfort & hugs mean so much to me. I am ever mindful that there are many others that are struggling with all manner of "diseases"--whether they be physically, mentally or emotionally. And it is our privilege & blessing to be able to offer up whatever we have to help ease their burdens. Our Heavenly Father's plan is just perfect, & I am thankful that He uses us as instruments in His hands to bless each other--both those who give, & those who receive are blessed by His love. Thank you so much for giving to me. Love always, Kim

It's A(nother) New Year!

Christmas Eve

Mom told me today that it was time to update my blog...I'm either feeling yucky (chemo week) or so busy (non-chemo week) & I'm not very good at doing this. I am feeling very blessed to be able to welcome in another new year, even though it was pretty low-key at our place last night. I did the end-of-year bookkeeping for the dental office on New Year's Eve day & then Vern & I caught a quick bite around 2pm. I layed around the rest of the evening just resting & watching TV--boring. The boys were busy playing video games most of yesterday, & around 10pm, Braedon wondered why we weren't having a party--it was a pretty lame night. Everyone but Vern & Jarett were asleep by midnight.

The Christmas holiday has been just wonderful! I had the week off chemo before Christmas & was able to really enjoy the time with all our family. We had family parties with both the Clowards and Iversons, & then spent Christmas with just our family. Kali brought a friend, Stephanie, home for the holiday & we had a couple of great days. Julie's family came up the night of Christmas to hang out & ended up sleeping over--what a delight to have cousins to play with!
I also just love when Christmas falls on a Sunday & we have the opportunity of attending church. My heart was just full as I sat there surrounded by people I love, & who have shown their love so abundantly to me. I am so very grateful to my Savior for making all these wonderful things possible in my life! His birth, perfect life & atonement are priceless gifts that I know I am completely unworthy of--I marvel at His love for me.
I went in for my chemo treatment just this last Tuesday & received the good news that my CA-125 numbers are continuing to come down (from 412 to 266) & my other organs seem to be
holding up okay under the onslaught of the drugs. I'm still feeling a little funky today, but I'm sure that it's because the holidays were too much fun & I know we're all more than a little tired. I'm going in for another treatment this Friday, which is earlier than I normally go, because we have a little family trip scheduled for the following week & I want to be "over" the worst & feeling good for it.
I've had a good start to the new year, & am looking forward to setting some goals & working to achieve them. While I feel as if I've grown so much this past year, there are also many days where I question whether I'm doing very well with this precious time I've been granted--I've really slacked off in certain areas & have used the cancer & chemo as my excuse. I'm so thankful for opportunities to start anew, & thankful to my Savior for making it possible. Know how much I love all of you, & am continually thankful for your love & support. It's been wonderful to hear from, & see, so many friends this past month. Love always, Kim