I'm not sure if anyone is even reading this anymore--I'm terrible about writing on a regular basis. I was trying to write a few days after each chemo treatment, but really slacked off this last time. I actually had a treatment of Doxil on September 7th, but just haven't felt very well & couldn't motivate myself to sit down & write. Today is the two-year anniversary of the day I was originally diagnosed with cancer. I know things were "cooking" in there much longer than that, but things became "official" two years ago. This past week, I've really been contemplating the fact that I'm still here & thinking about all the changes that have occurred during this time. The other day I was reading some stories of cancer survivors---I don't know if you can call me a survivor since I'm still battling the darn thing, but, in some ways I feel as if I'm not only "surviving", but might actually be "thriving". Don't get me wrong--if I were given the choice, this is absolutely not what I would choose in my life, but two year's perspective has helped me to see that this experience has been vital to my spiritual & emotional growth. And then, when I have those days where I feel tired, achy, cranky, miserable & downright scared about where things are headed, I realize how much more I need to grow!
Today we had a wonderful lesson & discussion in Relief Society on faith, & one of the "take away" lessons for me was to "give the Lord a chance" in our lives. We are His children & can only begin to understand how much He loves us individually--each & every one of us. He is just waiting to bless & help us with all that is going on in our lives--our small every day events are just as important to Him as the huge challenges we face. Two years ago, my life circumstances made me humble myself & give Him a chance to work His miracles in my life. Each time I have truly exercised my faith in my Savior, He has blessed me in ways that are unmistakable! I have felt His love & He has helped me to have peace & hope in His plan for me. Sometimes the adversary is so strong with the doubts, worry & fear that he plants into my mind & heart, and I need to continually turn to the Savior for healing. Some days I do better at this than other days. How I wish that I were perfectly faithful & always turned to Him for guidance & help! How much more joy, happiness & peace could I have, & could I bring to my family if I could do so? But, the Savior is always faithful to me, granting me that portion of His spirit that I need most at that time, when I sincerely humble myself & pray to Him for help. There is so much more in my heart that I wish I could articulate at this time. I pray that some day I will be blessed to speak as the angels do & praise my Savior, Jesus Christ. I have a testimony that He lives! He is our Redeemer & His Atonement is real. Love, Kim
Kim was diagnosed last Thursday, September 16, 2010 with ovarian cancer. As Kim's Family, Friends, Neighbors and Fans - we have started this blog to help share information, updates, support, and love with each other during her next few months of surgery, treatment and healing. We will try to update it whenever we receive information. Please feel free to leave a comment expressing your support, love, and encouragement anytime - as that is how we will all grow and strengthen each other - especially Kim and her family. We love you Kim, and our faith, prayers, and total support and dedication are with you as you embark on this "Journey"!