Running As Fast As I Can

     It has been a busy, busy past couple of weeks--I feel as if I've been running as fast as I can--both literally & figuratively.  Vern and Kali have been gone to Guatemala the past 10 days doing some sightseeing & some service dental work in a clinic down there.  They arrive home tomorrow & I can hardly wait to see them & hear all about their trip.  I'm so glad that things went well with my health before & during their trip, so that they could have this opportunity.  I'm grateful that they could serve in this way, as so much service has been given to us.  I've been busy shuttling the little boys back & forth between various sports & activities, & it's been good that Jarett's been home to do all my hard spring yard work the past 10 days.  It's been good to have him home--I always feel safer when he's here.  Today I walked/ran the last 9 miles of the Ogden Marathon with my friend, Heidi.  What a beautiful day & what a marvelous experience to be able to run the gorgeous canyon again!  By the time we finished, I felt like I was walking on "bloody stumps", but the emotional lift I received from doing it far outweighs the aches & pains I'm feeling tonight.  It was great to see old running friends while I was doing it, & so wonderful to be doing this with Heidi--we've had our ups & downs running this race over the past few years & this was definitely an "up" year for me.
     Today was a much needed boost for me after the beginning of my week.  I met with my surgeon, Dr. Reading, on Monday & learned that the lump in my breast is most likely another tumor.  She said that she can remove it if I want, but that she knows she wouldn't be able to get clean margins because it's in the chest muscle, & it will just likely reoccur in that area.  Since they know I still have cancer cells floating around in my abdomen, this new tumor doesn't really change anything as far as my treatment & the eventual outcome of this journey goes.  Since I've received the chemo, I've noticed that the lump is much less noticeable--it isn't tender like it was initially, & it's not as well defined.  Sooo...it appears that the new chemo drug is working on it.  It was kind of hard to hear the news--not that it was anything new--I knew I still had the darned cancer in me!  It just seems as if I will most likely be doing chemo until I can't do it anymore.  Sometimes I try to go through my days pretending that I don't have cancer, & this new lump just made it all the more visible physically for me.  But, as with each new twist & turn on this journey, I needed a few days to just process everything emotionally & cry.  I do cry once in awhile still, but I always feel better when I can focus on what I DO have, rather than on what I might not have.  I can't say thank you enough for the kind thoughts, words & prayers--I still feel protected by this big "bubble of love".  Love always, Kim