I'm not sure if anyone is even reading this anymore--I'm terrible about writing on a regular basis. I was trying to write a few days after each chemo treatment, but really slacked off this last time. I actually had a treatment of Doxil on September 7th, but just haven't felt very well & couldn't motivate myself to sit down & write. Today is the two-year anniversary of the day I was originally diagnosed with cancer. I know things were "cooking" in there much longer than that, but things became "official" two years ago. This past week, I've really been contemplating the fact that I'm still here & thinking about all the changes that have occurred during this time. The other day I was reading some stories of cancer survivors---I don't know if you can call me a survivor since I'm still battling the darn thing, but, in some ways I feel as if I'm not only "surviving", but might actually be "thriving". Don't get me wrong--if I were given the choice, this is absolutely not what I would choose in my life, but two year's perspective has helped me to see that this experience has been vital to my spiritual & emotional growth. And then, when I have those days where I feel tired, achy, cranky, miserable & downright scared about where things are headed, I realize how much more I need to grow!
Today we had a wonderful lesson & discussion in Relief Society on faith, & one of the "take away" lessons for me was to "give the Lord a chance" in our lives. We are His children & can only begin to understand how much He loves us individually--each & every one of us. He is just waiting to bless & help us with all that is going on in our lives--our small every day events are just as important to Him as the huge challenges we face. Two years ago, my life circumstances made me humble myself & give Him a chance to work His miracles in my life. Each time I have truly exercised my faith in my Savior, He has blessed me in ways that are unmistakable! I have felt His love & He has helped me to have peace & hope in His plan for me. Sometimes the adversary is so strong with the doubts, worry & fear that he plants into my mind & heart, and I need to continually turn to the Savior for healing. Some days I do better at this than other days. How I wish that I were perfectly faithful & always turned to Him for guidance & help! How much more joy, happiness & peace could I have, & could I bring to my family if I could do so? But, the Savior is always faithful to me, granting me that portion of His spirit that I need most at that time, when I sincerely humble myself & pray to Him for help. There is so much more in my heart that I wish I could articulate at this time. I pray that some day I will be blessed to speak as the angels do & praise my Savior, Jesus Christ. I have a testimony that He lives! He is our Redeemer & His Atonement is real. Love, Kim
hi Kim! Thank you for your post. i needed that message on faith today!!! Thank you for sharing! how are you? how is the valley? sure wish we were still "neighbors"
ReplyDeleteYes, we are still reading your blog! Thank you so much for sharing your testimony. A woman in my ward is battling cancer as well; and, it's amazing to me to see how this experience has impacted her life -- the "consequences" have been much more positive than negative. I am so glad that you are doing well. Also, congratulations on Jarett's mission call! Missionary service is awesome! I loved my mission. Your entire family will be blessed by his service.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes,
Lisa & family
Kim, thanks for sharing your beautiful feelings with us! We continually pray for you and think of you and we are so happy that you have those two years behind you! You are truly an inspiration :)
ReplyDeleteLove you tons!!
Larry and Becky
I've been wondering how you were. I finally had some down time to read some blogs and was pleased to find you are doing okay. You have a beautiful testimony. Stay strong. You have lots of people praying for you.
ReplyDeleteHolly Summers Behling
Kim,
ReplyDeleteThis is Tami Creamer posting on my daughters account. Congrats to Jarret and your family on his mission call! All of you will be SO blessed because of his service. I'm glad to hear that you are still hanging in there with such a good attitude. You are truly an example. I have a great friend that we knew while we were living in Guam that was just diagnosed last week with Stage 4 Breast Cancer. I haven't had a chance to talk to her since right before they made the diagnosis but at first they were testing her liver because they found tumors on her liver and spine. I'm not sure how they got to the Breast Cancer diagnosis. I would love to hook you up with her. She is a young mother of 3 beautiful children. They live in Phoenix. I'm going to send her to your blog, if that's OK with you, and then call me if you ever get a chance that you could maybe talk to her. I know she could use some words of encouragement. Her name is Tisa Collier. She's very active LDS. Call me if you can at 801-549-8054. Thanks and take care. Love ya tons.
Tami Creamer
It's nice to hear from you Kim. I was just thinking about you the other day and wondered how things were going for you. Do keep in touch as we all love to hear from you. You do have lots of people praying for you and the family.
ReplyDelete